A Brief Introduction of Little to No Importance

To my dear friends, family, and the occasional complete stranger:

I know the worldwide debut of this little enterprise has been hotly anticipated, and obviously I hate to keep my public waiting, so thank you so much for bearing with me as I start to get my feet under me here in Kenya. An even bigger thanks (or perhaps apology?) to those of you who manage to continue reading what is likely to be an unbelievably erratic collection of writing, featuring long periods of stagnation and silence punctuated by short bursts of frenetic, compulsive posting, most of it more or less complete gibberish dedicated to making my life in Africa seem far more exotic and adventurous than it actually is.

So here is my plan: I will lure you all in by beginning with the boring parts, like why I’m here, what my job is all about, why I believe in what I’m doing, why I think it’s worth moving halfway around the world for the coming years, and all that mushy nonsense. We will then proceed to the truly interesting parts, like what I ate for breakfast, or my unsolicited opinion on obscure Kenyan policy issues. It will all be grand fun. Perhaps I will even show off some Swahili skills at some point. Fortunately for you, my current knowledge is limited to: “Jambo! Ninaitwa Andrew! Sijui Kiswahili! Ninajifunza! Tafedali nenda! Asante sana!” (Roughly translated: “Hi! I am called Andrew! I do not know Swahili! But I am learning! Go away now if you please! Thank you very much!”)

But to be honest, blogging has never really been my thing because it feels so decidedly impersonal, as though I’m sending my life out into a gaping void of cyber-nothingness where it may or may not be found by the people I care about. That means every one of you reading this has a job (Yes, Mike McKinlay, I’m looking at you. Hard. My virtual eyes are boring into your skull.) And that job is basically to somehow let me know you’re out there—leave a comment, ask a question, shoot me an e-mail (andrew.s.hoekzema@gmail.com), or call me up (+254 700 677 445)—this last option may not be recommended for the light of wallet, and may require one or both of us to keep odd hours, but hey, you get my actual voice out of the deal. I could even read the blog out loud to you! You can also text, which is much cheaper, and generally doesn’t require me to wake up at 5 AM. It’s always always always a real joy to hear from anyone back home (the supply of people in Busia who can think of a single American not named Barack is depressingly thin at the moment). There will be no shortage of things to write about here, but I really do welcome questions: that way at least some of the loony stuff on here will be loony stuff you actually want to read. Think of it like one of those awesome choose-your-own-adventure books! Except instead of ‘choose your own adventure’ it’s more like ‘Andrew takes your questions and suggestions and then chooses the adventure himself but you get to hear about it afterwards! Yay!’

Here are some handy examples to get you started!

Good questions:

“Andrew, what are some of the communication and culture barriers you face in delivering sanitation and hygiene interventions to rural areas, and what is the state of the development community in your region in general?”

“What is the weirdest thing you’ve eaten this week?”

“What obscure tropical disease are you most freaked out about catching?”

“How many Kenyans does it take to fix a shuttle bus when it inevitably breaks down on the unbelievably terrible road to Kisumu?”

“What is the REAL secret to a delicious honey mustard vinaigrette?”

Bad questions:

There are no bad questions.

Just kidding! Of course there are bad questions. Here is one: “Andrew, how many puns can you come up with that include the word ‘Kenya’ in them?”

See? Easy!

In all seriousness, I do have many hopes for this blog: that it will give you something tangible to keep in your thoughts and prayers, that it will be an education for all of us (myself first and foremost) in the realities of global poverty and development and an opportunity to correct some misconceptions about life in the developing world, and that it will be a venue for those of you who might not otherwise contact me to be in touch and get your questions answered. I think it goes without saying that I also relish the chance to feel like a hotshot writer with a vast cyber-audience clinging to my every word and post with soppy dedication.

So be sure to stay tuned! Cause you won’t want to miss these scrumptious upcoming stories:

-“Andrew gets delayed in Atlanta: a retrospective photodocumentary”

-“Why I like Africa. By Andrew.”

-“Why I don’t like Africa quite as much as that other story led you to believe. By Andrew.”

-“’My field vehicle just got impounded by the Kenyan police! What do I do now?!’: an insider’s guide to surviving your first week in international development work”

-“Global realities of water purity, sanitation, and hygiene, and their impact on the health and development of young children: a hopefully not-too-depressing summary of why I do what I do”

-“A riveting and thoroughly unbiased analysis of the upcoming Kenyan constitutional referendum”

-“Some really famous economists you’ve never heard of: the completely unauthorized biographies of my bosses and colleagues at Innovations for Poverty Action”

-“The quest for Mama Obama”

-and much much more!

Mbaki salama everyone! Thanks again for your thoughts, support, and prayers. Until next time, I leave you to ponder this (real) nugget of ancient African wisdom:

“You cannot scare a monkey with a dead baboon.”

I think we would all do well to remember that.